Sunday, June 3, 2012

I Believe in Christ- part 1

In sacrament meeting the opening hymn was I Believe in Christ. I sat and listened as the congregation sang and I reflected on what I believe about Christ and why I believe it.

I do know that God has a plan for his children, but I don't think that I understand it very well. Of course I can repeat the vague "His plan is for us to learn to become like him, and to return to live with Him". But repetition of a vague message does not equate understanding. I also believe that Heavenly Father has a plan for me (He must for me by default because I believe He does for others) but I don't know what that plan is at all. And I don't feel comfortable quoting one of the many vague responses because I don't feel like I have sufficient faith in them. I can't help feeling that my individual plan is of no consequence and that my contribution to others and to the collective plan is extremely insignificant. It is actually a painful thing to think of, but I lack both knowledge and skill to either have more meaningful contribution or see how my contributions are meaningful.

I recognize that God's plan by necessity required a Savior and one willing to perform that atoning sacrifice so that "The Plan" (the collective plan and all of the individual plans) could be realized. Without the Savior, Jesus Christ, and his Atonement, there would be no plan.

I know that the Atonement is the answer to all problems no matter how big or how small. I just wish I knew how to access the power of the Atonement more often and to a greater degree.Sometimes I feel like it is the answer, but that I don't know how to come to it. And for whatever reason it just isn't enough to know that it is the answer because I still feel like I am missing something about it. My current "knowledge" of it doesn't fill me like I think it should, or want it to.

Of course all of this leads to faith, or rather a lack of it I suppose. Or at least a lack of the specific kind of faith to draw upon the powers of heaven.

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