Appreciation of beauty

Appreciation of beauty is The ability to recognize and acknowledge beauty, splendor, brilliance, and astute performance in different realms of life.

There is goodness and beauty in all things. Tonight I lit a candle and watched it as it danced and flickered around its wick. It's colors we're brilliant. Fire is a beautiful thing. The blue in it is beautiful, and the light and warmth that come from the flame as it envelops whatever it is burning are pretty amazing too when you think about it. Fire seems to just do when it is supposed to do. Burn.
I thought about the dim light that comes from a small flame. How did people ever use that as their light source? It is so dim compared to the light that I'm used to. And yet it is enough to read by.

Since when do I look like could impart fashion wisdom?

I've been waiting for a story to happen to me so I could write a story style post instead of a memoir style post. And what do you know! One happened. But there is a bit of back story that needs to be told first.

I'm an only girl with 3 brothers. I was quite the tomboy when I was growing up. Mother tried to fix my hair at one point but I think she gave up after 3 consecutive years of me asking for a ponytail everyday to school and church. She probably decided to just let it go since it wasn't a battle worth fighting. I've had few crushes in my life, so few in fact that in my almost 29 years I can count them on less than 1 hand.
I college was when I realized that I was an awkward girl who could never really figure out the choreography that is dating. I quickly realized that I was the girl they stuck in the back for a reason. My costume was several sizes too big, my hair stuck out in odd places, and the way I moved was slightly off or behind, just not really with the rest of the group. I always felt like I stood in the back waving my arms until I realized that either the group had moved on or were never doing that move in the first place.
Now I have gotten some semblance of a clue in ensuing years but honestly never thought I would do anything more than get by when it comes to that sort of thing.

I went to the buckle to tag along because a friend was returning a necklace she had bought there that had broken. As the necessary things were done to exchange the necklace, the girl working there decided to make conversation.
"Do you work at the mall?" she asked my friend.
I kind of laughed in my head because Alisha was also very tomboy growing up, and she has a "real job". She doesn't need to work at the mall.

The girl seemed slightly surprised that Alisha didn't work at the mall. She complemented us both on our outfits and then said that The Buckle was hiring! She pulled out a card for each of us and invited us to apply.

If only she really knew me. I think I should stick with my "real job". But thanks for asking!

Why I don't write

Sometimes I don't write because I don't think I have any thoughts worth writing.

I Believe in Christ- part 1

In sacrament meeting the opening hymn was I Believe in Christ. I sat and listened as the congregation sang and I reflected on what I believe about Christ and why I believe it.

 
I do know that God has a plan for his children, but I don't think that I understand it very well. Of course I can repeat the vague "His plan is for us to learn to become like him, and to return to live with Him". But repetition of a vague message does not equate understanding. I also believe that Heavenly Father has a plan for me (He must for me by default because I believe He does for others) but I don't know what that plan is at all. And I don't feel comfortable quoting one of the many vague responses because I don't feel like I have sufficient faith in them. I can't help feeling that my individual plan is of no consequence and that my contribution to others and to the collective plan is extremely insignificant. It is actually a painful thing to think of, but I lack both knowledge and skill to either have more meaningful contribution or see how my contributions are meaningful.

I recognize that God's plan by necessity required a Savior and one willing to perform that atoning sacrifice so that "The Plan" (the collective plan and all of the individual plans) could be realized. Without the Savior, Jesus Christ, and his Atonement, there would be no plan.

I know that the Atonement is the answer to all problems no matter how big or how small. I just wish I knew how to access the power of the Atonement more often and to a greater degree.Sometimes I feel like it is the answer, but that I don't know how to come to it. And for whatever reason it just isn't enough to know that it is the answer because I still feel like I am missing something about it. My current "knowledge" of it doesn't fill me like I think it should, or want it to.

Of course all of this leads to faith, or rather a lack of it I suppose. Or at least a lack of the specific kind of faith to draw upon the powers of heaven.

Joy in the journey. Love life

Loving life was a lesson to be learned from Michelle Crossan. I want very much to learn that. I know it has to do with the atonement and sacrificing for people, making others feel wanted, loving people with a pure love. It means giving yourself, being happy with life and with who you are. It means living life in such a way to be happy with yourself. And it is having an infectious smile.